Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Misery Loves Company

Another rubbish day. Apologies if this starts sounding like something of a blues tune, but sometimes you've got to offload.

Anyway. I woke up this morning (doo-doo-doo-do-doo), and... nothing. Slept OK(ish) and the alarm went off at the normal time. But could I get up? Could I buggery. The Black Dog had well and truly taken up residence in my head, and I was going nowhere. Yes, dear people - it's time to admit: my name is michael, and I suffer from depression. Actually, I've never liked the fact that people "suffer" from it - it just doesn't feel right. I much prefer to say that it's something I have to deal with on a day-to-day basis. Like going to the office (heh!), or cleaning house, but even more rubbish.

It's only recently that I got off my arse and decided that enough was enough, and actually went off to the doctor in a bid to actually get some help. Initially I decided that I'd try the mind over matter approach, and organised some couselling sessions - however, several months down the line, they've still not appeared as there's something of a waiting list (who'd have thought there'd be so many depressed people out there!?). Time went on, I kept on feeling rubbish (thanks to a few events at work and home) so the Big Decision was made. It was time to Go On Drugs.

That was two weeks ago. Escitalopram for breakfast is not exactly the most nutritious thing, but thanks to the Black Dog, I don't actually eat as much as I used to anyway. In fact, I've actually managed to shift a bit of excess tummy thanks to a combo of smaller portions and going out on wistful walks while listening to incredibly loud music, so at least something good has come from this episode. But then there's the other stuff: dealing with your body getting used to the new stream of chemicals that hurtle through your body each morning, the moodswings (like today, when I couldn't face leaving the house), the occasional nausea and - of course - the very messed up sleeping patterns. These are the truly crappy aspects, but hopefully (please!) they'll abate.

So there you go. Today's post has been brought to you by the letters S, S, R and I. And I promise I shan't wibble on about Being Depressed too much in future. Normal(ish) service willl be resumed shortly... unless it gets really bad. ;D


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